Since last on here I have been to see more doctors, listened to more opinions on what is wrong with me and spent a considerable amount of money in the process.
If they are all correct then my health deterioration has simply been caused by stress, nothing more, nothing less - GREAT!! cut down on your stress they say, learn to manage stress, get a hobby or do something to relax -ha ha ha ha.....
So briefly to sum up - I have spent about $2,000 and am still ill.
My blood pressure is too high. I have tried different tablets that have nasty side effects. My episodes or attacks are getting longer. My ear is constantly blocked or making a noise...... but I still weigh the same!!
In an effort to beat stress I have been crocheting blankets - so far have made 8 and am halfway through the 9th - not working I guess as I am still ill, but I am now very good at reading patterns.
I have booked a flight home and planned a month long stay in an effort to resolve matters with my kids in a face to face setting, spend time with my son when he gets home from his mission, be more involved with my daughter's wedding, spend time with my sister and dad, visit my daughter's grave, get teeth checked and fixed, breast screening done, get some possessions from the house, eat food I miss, buy food to bring back and collect my mail. I now wonder if I will be more stressed after my trip.....
I now attend counselling to help me - 2nd session today. Hopefully this will help too like last time.
I have returned to writing in my journal - this is also a stress busting exercise.
I am on a headache diet - no more chocolate, raspberries, doughnuts, hot fresh bread, raisins - basically all the things I like to eat - fantastic.
I take loads of pills every day - although have finished one course now - so only 10 now instead of 15. I know some people take far more - but I am not a pill taker and usually avoid them like the plague. But have been willing to try in an effort to get better. So 10 to me is 'loads'.
I have been assigned to teach Adult Sunday School - twice a month - I like doing it - makes me feel useful in some way. I often go out with the missionaries - again it is something useful to do. I also go out visiting teaching. Glad to do all these things - just wish I also had a job and felt well - never satisfied I guess.
I have finished loading all my names onto the new familysearch website. My tree has grown during this process to 5,428 people. What shall I do with my time now? Although I constantly fiddle with it, looking for more info to fill in the blanks and then finding more people to add. A year ago it was about 3,000.
So all in all I see this last 12 months has not been entirely negative. I have learned many things, some I would prefer not to learn, but some things have been good. I just hope there are more positive things in the next 12 months and less negative.
I have lived here a year now - can it really be so?
