There is a certain amount of wisdom in adopting this attitude when life changes. It replaces the natural tendency of peering hopelessly into the future and worrying about something that is not here yet. It helps to focus the mind on dealing with present issues, which at the moment for me is more than enough to cope with.
I felt really good and so much better yesterday. I felt I was making progress, learning to adapt to my new challenges and not letting it get the better of me. I was in fighter mode. Championship mode. 'I can cope with anything' mode. 'I will still be able to do all that is really important to me' mode.
The missionary sisters called by to see how I am doing and to bring me a card and some muffins. So kind!! But when I explain I am on a low salt diet, their faces drop as they I realise I possibly can't eat the muffins as there is salt in them - oops!! They also invite me to go with them to an appointment next week and I am sure I will be able to go, the beast willing of course...
So going to bed on this positive wave was a pleasant experience.... For the first time in ages my husband and I laugh and joke in bed as we used to. I smile to myself as I settle down and feel that things are definitely improving.....
But during the night it all changed!! I woke a couple of times for the bathroom and then I had sharp indigestion pain - an occasional reminder that I have eaten something that perhaps people without gall bladders should not eat. This presents me with a dilemma - do I take the usual gaviscon which I think has sodium in it or hope the pain will go. I decide to take a chance - knowing that if I don't take the medicine the pain will just get worse. I crunch up the tablets and realise that my mouth and throat are far too dry and it is turning into a powder. I need a drink, but in my sleepy state I go the wrong way and end up in the bathroom and not the kitchen. I feel confused but feel now as if I am about to faint - so I lay down on the floor. As I lay there in the dark, I begin to feel better and the whole thing just strikes me as a funny situation and I start to laugh - maybe hysteria is creeping in....
I have a piercing noise in my ear that is getting worse and I have a sneaky suspicion that I am about to have 'an attack'. So I go back to bed, ensuring I have all my things ready and sleep, hoping I am wrong. It is about 5:30am and I fall alseep, but all I have are strange and horrible dreams. I am getting clammy, my neck is heating up, my arms are beginning to tingle - oh joy - it seems to be coming after all. I have a raging thirst and a nasty taste in my mouth too....
My husband is asleep beside me - thankfully he is totally oblivious to my discomfort and I do not want him to wake to the joyous sound of me heaving over the side of the bed. I open my eyes to check if the room is spinning - it is. By now it is after 6am and I hope I can try to keep it at bay until he leaves for his softball game.
Success!! It is after 7am and he touches my arm so that I will turn over and he can kiss me goodbye. Instead I wish him good luck, say I am not feeling too good and close my eyes hoping nothing happens.
So I drift back to my weird dreams. I finally force myself to wake at about 10am or so. The piercing noise in my ears has pretty much gone, the room has stopped spinning and I just feel sick and my head aches. Yipee!! I see this as some sort of triumph.
I bought some new meclizine tablets yesterday for the nausea - raspberry flavour and chewable apparently. All I can say about them is that I have never had raspberries that tasted quite so obnoxious. My nausea has not disappeared either - so I am not convinced they are the same as the ones the doctor gave me, even though the pharmacist in Walmart politely and convincingly assured me that they were......
Ron returns from his game triumphant, but injured. He has pulled his ham string he says and it really hurts. The guys have given him some 'amazing cream' to soothe his war wounds. Hope it works better than my raspberry flavoured chewable meclezine.
Tonight we plan to go out with a couple at church to see the new Star Trek movie - maybe I will have to drive!! Tomorrow it may pain him more and I will perhaps have to drive to church also.
We shall see.... one day at a time.....
No comments:
Post a Comment