My ear is somewhat blocked today and occasionally my other ear is too -joining in sympathy I suppose. I arranged to go out with the sister missionaries today and I was well enough to go!! So pleased with myself. It was a good experience and glad I made it.
I felt hungry so I made myself an egg sandwich - had one yesterday too - yum!! I thought I might have chicken for dinner and so I took some out of the freezer. I gazed around the appartment and decided to do the dishes later. I smiled at my lovely flowers from my children and I felt sad that the gorgeous flowers that my husband sent are now dying. I so love him.
My ears seemed to be a little better so I thought more positively about my driving test. I checked the website again for details of nearest centre and what I would need to take for ID - all looks good. I decided to purchase some practice tests online and did that for a few hours - eventually getting all the questions right each time. I will try the tests again tomorrow and see if I remembered it all.
I planned to go out and get some yogurt and wool or look for a present for my grand daughter, but about 5pm I started feeling ill. The noise in my ear was unbearable - a piercing sound. The sort of noise you would ask someone if they could hear it too. I got up to walk around and found myself stumbling and falling even though the room was not spinning like it usually does.
I laid back down and the familiar unpleasant sensation on the back of my neck started, together with the arm tingling and I knew what was coming..... by 6:30 I start throwing up and boy does it hurt my throat for some reason. After a while I check the clock - it is 7pm. I lay on my side and cry - I so hate all this. I feel cross I am crying and so I stop - after all what good does it do?
I guess I must've fallen asleep, as the next time I check the clock, thinking that only about 5 minutes have elapsed, I see it is 8:30pm. I start thinking totally unconnected random thoughts about all kinds of things. My throat hurts and I wonder why people are bulimic - they must have a sore throat all the time and they do it to themselves - mine is totally involuntary and I hate it.....
I have the nastiest taste in my mouth like I have been drinking sea water or something. I try eating an apple - it tastes like cardboard. I try drinking some water - yuk! I opt for the old favourite - gum - at least that seems to cover up the taste. The noise in my ear has stopped and I can hear a little better
I have decided that I really do not want to be like this anymore. I feel I just want to go home. I feel I just can't do this. I refuse to follow the pathetic idea that this is a sign - nonsense!! But I feel like just giving up and booking a flight home. I feel I have lost all my previous positive attitude and ability to see the funny side of it all and just deal with the symptoms, not letting it all get to me. I want to know if I am ever going to get better. I want to know I am going to be alright. But instead I am just sitting here, chewing gum, crying, feeling terrible and worst of all - a complete wimp about the whole thing
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